Heather Cherry Comedy Roast

It's time for the Heather Cherry Comedy Roast of vacuum cleaners, whirlpools, black holes, straws, siphons, and Nickelback.

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You guys suck.

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The end.

Heather Cherry Comedy Roast of...

... Wiener Dogs!

Look at you, wiener dogs. You're so short. Yet so long at the same time. How does that even work? What's the deal with those tiny legs? Did someone chop them OFF while you're weren't looking? Pay a little more attention, wiener dogs. I mean, really.

You're so little but you think you're big and brave. For crap's sake, you fight badgers! Haven't you heard? Dooooooood... those things are, just totally... mean, evil little critters!

Why would you go up against these guys, huh? Come on. You have nothing to prove, wiener dogs. So quit showing off, srsly.

And what's with this nonsense? You dress up in ridiculous Mexican outfits? Tiny hats? What did I say about showing off?

Oh, hardy-har-har. A hotdog bun bed. How ironic and adorable. NOT!*

*Except it totally, totally is.

My little buddy, Deuce. Yep, my mom totally made that bun-bed up there.

Visit Carmen's blog for other weenie hijinks.

Welcome to the first edition of the Heather Cherry Comedy Roast

Welcome to the Heather Cherry Comedy Roast of... ROAST!

Look at you, roast, there in the oven. All... roasty and stuff. Just lying there, stewing in your own juices like some sort of disgusting creep. Covered in foil like some sixth-grader's science project. Keeping company with carrots and onions and potatoes. You should be hanging out with steaks and baby back ribs and cheeseburgers and stuff. Weirdo.

And you know what? Having said your name over and over now, it sounds and looks weird.

Roast.

Roast.

It's a weird word. Just look at it.

Roast.

Ugh. Gross.

And what? You couldn't come up with a better name for yourself? "Roast." It's like calling yourself "Grilled" or "Fried." Actually, that's assuming your name is Roast-ED. So really it's like calling yourself "Grill" or "Fry." Fries, heh.

Hey French Fries, what's YOUR deal?..........................