Friday, November 7, 2008

Top Ten Things That Creep My Mom Out

If you are around my mom for any length of time, you will inevitably hear her say the following phrase, "That/He/Those creep(s) me out!" It's always an adventure to find out what creeps my mom out. Sometimes I play a game and try to discover new things that creep her out. I'll see something I suspect to be a creep-inducer for Mom and I'll call her and say, "Hey Mom, how do you feel about [fill in the blank]?" and 99% of the time the immediate response is, "Oh, they creep me out!" and I dissolve into a fit of giggles because I know her so well.

So, what follows is by no means a comprehensive list but it does cover the main points. Ladies and gents... the Top Ten Things That Creep My Mom Out:

  • Garden gnomes. This includes the "Roaming Gnome" from those TV commercials.

  • Also, apparently, it includes small elfin statues that only slightly resemble gnomes... if you squint hard enough.

  • The helpful paperclip guy from Microsoft Word. Mom especially hates it "when he raises his eyebrow at me! Ew!" Please note, my dad is also creeped out by said paperclip dude.

  • The "zoom-zoom" kid from the Mazda commercials. Huh?

  • Those wind-filled tube-shaped dudes that direct you toward a particular business. Are these things actually supposed to work as far as a marketing technique? I mean, I know for me, when I see a crazy gyrating air-filled tube I immediately purchase whatever product or service is being advertised. Even if it's an automatic kitten-killing machine. What? I can't help it. I'm helpless against the Sky Dancer's charm! That's what they're called, by the way, I have found out. Also known as a Tube Dancer. Fun fact.

      • That Mucinex mucus blobby guy. I kinda think he's cute, myself. And I love the gloopy way he walks, leaving mucus-y footsteps everywhere. I find it rather charming.

      • The Burger King king. In Mom's defense, I hate that guy, too. The ginormous perpetually smiling plastic face? Kinda reminds me of Joan Rivers. Dude. Creepy.

      • And speaking of ginormous plastic-headed fast food eatery mascots, she also hates the Jack In The Box clown.

      • Those huge inflatable gorillas that sit in front of car dealerships or on top of buildings. Oft seen in blue, orange or purple. You know... for the realism factor.

      • That annoying dancing old guy that's not really old from the Six Flags commercials. I. Hate. That guy. He doesn't so much creep me out as give me a very strong urge to throw a brick through the TV. I would seriously rather sit through an entire Phish concert than listen to 30 seconds of that obnoxious song they play when the guy starts dancing.

      So... inquiring minds want to know...
      What random things "creep you out"?


      ~Christy said...

      Very funny!!

      TP8 said...

      I have to agree with your mom about the Jack In The Box clown or any clown for that matter! Can't sleep, clowns will eat me!

      Nicole Darr said...

      Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's eyes. It's like... I just think they know when the world is going to end. And they will be the cause of it! Also, they never show their teeth. They might be vampires. And not the sexy Twilight kind. Probably the lisping, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" kind. Ew. That creeps me out.

      Also, rubber bands. The smell, the texture, the pain... they're awful. And obsolete! Put down the rubber bands and go buy a clippy-doo.

      Terrier Lover said...

      haha ... out of the things you listed the burger king king and the jack in the box guy. But for some reason have you ever seen those whiskers calendars with the animals and they make their eyes and head huge and leave their bodies small ... yea. Those creep me out!

      Heather Cherry said...

      OMG, I hate those creepy big wobbly-eyed animal pics! Ew, you are so right! Gross.

      Another big thing that creeps me out is those biscuit cans that you have to peel until they pop open. ACK! They freak me right the heck out. It's like a jack-in-the-box (the toy, not the eatery)... you never know... when it's gonna................. BAM! *stroke*

      Wendy said...

      OMG... we might be twins separated at birth. I am so freaked out by those biscuits and I haven't met anyone else who is. My family makes fun of me all the time about it. "Put down that biscuit tube, mom... it could blow!"

      Also, tell your mom she is COMPLETELY RIGHT about those creepy Schwab people. Who on on earth thought that was a good idea??

      Heather Cherry said...

      LOL, Wendy. I always wanted a twin! I always make someone else open the biscuit cans for me. I candle the stress.

      And for the record, I hate those peopletoons, too. They are super freaky.