Tuesday, December 23, 2008

All I Want for Christmas is BEEG FAT KEESES!!

Right... on... my mouf. Gib... dem... to me!

Merry Christmas, everyone!



Thursday, December 18, 2008

Best sister ever (best brother, too!)

Today is my brother and his wife's 4th anniversary.

Christy blogged a love letter about Jake and I wanted to share it because it goes to show how loving she is, how devoted he is and why I'm so incredibly lucky to have a family like this. Read the post and pay attention: this is how a strong, Christ-centered marriage looks. By the way, when she says they miss each other when one of them leaves the room... she's not exaggerating. They're really that crazy about each other. Given how incredible these two people are together... well... I just can't wait to meet the tiny version of the two of them put together.
I love you guys so much! Happy Anniversary.

Did I mention I'm going to be an aunt?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Yea for Pittie Heroes!

And yea for "paws"-itive press!
Check out this story about a local pittie who took 3 bullets for his owner.


Family Dog Takes Bullet to Save Family
Posted: Dec 9, 2008 07:00 PM CST
Updated: Dec 10, 2008 11:46 AM CST

The family has no idea why the man broke in or how their dog, D-boy, survived.

By Amy Lester, NEWS 9
OKLAHOMA CITY -- A family dog made a lifesaving move when the family needed him most.
The dog's more than a friend, even more than a companion and family members said he's the reason they're alive.
The family's hero is their dog, D-boy.
Roberta Trawick was sitting on the couch when a man busted in, through the front door.
"He came in, pointed a gun at me and said, ‘Get down on the ground'," Trawick said.
The next thing Roberta knew, her dog ran in from another room, ready to attack.
"I was too scared to move, I didn't know what to think," Trawick said.
But before the dog could get a hold of the intruder, the man started shooting.
"I seen him shoot the dog twice," Trawick said. "He shot him once in the head and he was still going after him and the guy shot him again."
D-boy was shot three times, altogether. The intruder, apparently spooked, took off out the front door.
"It is amazing, it's amazing that he want after that guy, and that I still have a family," family member Angelic Shoemaker said.
The family has no idea why the man broke in or how the dog survived.
"The vet said if it wasn't for his hard head he wouldn't be here," Trawick said. "He's got a hard head."
That hard headed dog was determined to protect his family, and a family that owes a debt of gratitude to their four legged friend.
"I'm sorry my dog got shot, but I still got my family and we still got our dog," Shoemaker said.
The family now faces another obstacle. They don't have enough money to pay the dog's medical bills. So far, they owe around $1,500.
Police are still looking for the man who shot the family dog. If you have any information, call Crimestoppers at 405-235-7300.

To donate to D-boy, you can send a check to:

Veterinary Emergency and Critical Care Hospital

1800 W. Memorial RoadOklahoma City, OK 73134

* Checks can be made out to VECCA and please add D-boy to the memo line.

The phone number at the hospital is 405.749.6989.

I spoke with the vet tech and she says D-Boy has basically made a miraculous recovery.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Awesome Vintage Advertisements, They're Baaa-aaack

Note to self: Never, EVER use the word "stump" in the marketing of a product. In fact, just don't ever say the word "stump" for any reason... or "nub". And under no circumstances should the words "bloody" and "stump" or "nub" be used together. Although, "stump-nub" or "nub-stump" are perfectly fine and, I daresay, a bit charming.

There's a "Stammerers' Guild"? NO! No way. This is just too easy! Okay, I'll bite...
Hmmm... I wonder how long it takes to call their meetings to order or worse, pass a motion?...

"Who w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-will s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-second th-th-th-th-th-th-th-the

"I'll s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-second th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-that m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-motion, M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mr. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Presid-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dent."

"All in f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-avor s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s... aw, forget it!"

New scientific research brought to you by the highly respected medical journal, Duh magazine. All you gotta do is ditch that lame blazer and don a sporty sweater with conspicuous P on the chest and you'll blend in with all the cool kids! And don't forget your Trapper Keeper, chief. I've gotta say that I'm truly impressed with the detailed data provided here to back up the study. I guess you just have to take their word for it. Although, the person who wrote the ad apparently was too old to learn how to capitalize the beginning of all sentences.

Look at Mr. P Sweater. He seems to be grabbing Sally Sue's hindquarters there. And check out the couple in the background. They both look like they're getting handsy. Hey, you're never too old to have "needs."


Check out the chick whacking away at her stanky feet with a machete. Are you kidding me? That can't be sanitary.

*nervous twitch*

P.S. Corns have "roots"? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.


I think that if you start talking things over with your headache, chances are that headaches aren't your biggest problem.

Look directly into my eyes. I... will KEEL you. Keel you until you are dead.

Monday, November 24, 2008

I'm Gonna Be An Aunt!

All the aunties in the house say, "Hey-ey!!!"
So a lot of you probably already know this but I just haven't gotten the chance to blog aboot it so here it be! Christy is great with child. Okay, not really. She's about 8 1/2 weeks along, so... just a little with child. But who the heck cares! I'm gonna be an aunt! Ooooor an uncle... seeing as how they're not going to find out the gender of the beh-beh until he/she/it/they is/are born.
Anyhoo, Dad took to calling the baby "Tater" instead of having to use "the baby" constantly and the name stuck.

If you want to see a REAL picture of Tater and also get updates on Preggers, go to Sissy's blog:


WE ARE SO HECKA EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!123!!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Top Ten Things That Creep My Mom Out

If you are around my mom for any length of time, you will inevitably hear her say the following phrase, "That/He/Those creep(s) me out!" It's always an adventure to find out what creeps my mom out. Sometimes I play a game and try to discover new things that creep her out. I'll see something I suspect to be a creep-inducer for Mom and I'll call her and say, "Hey Mom, how do you feel about [fill in the blank]?" and 99% of the time the immediate response is, "Oh, they creep me out!" and I dissolve into a fit of giggles because I know her so well.

So, what follows is by no means a comprehensive list but it does cover the main points. Ladies and gents... the Top Ten Things That Creep My Mom Out:

  • Garden gnomes. This includes the "Roaming Gnome" from those TV commercials.

  • Also, apparently, it includes small elfin statues that only slightly resemble gnomes... if you squint hard enough.

  • The helpful paperclip guy from Microsoft Word. Mom especially hates it "when he raises his eyebrow at me! Ew!" Please note, my dad is also creeped out by said paperclip dude.

  • The "zoom-zoom" kid from the Mazda commercials. Huh?

  • Those wind-filled tube-shaped dudes that direct you toward a particular business. Are these things actually supposed to work as far as a marketing technique? I mean, I know for me, when I see a crazy gyrating air-filled tube I immediately purchase whatever product or service is being advertised. Even if it's an automatic kitten-killing machine. What? I can't help it. I'm helpless against the Sky Dancer's charm! That's what they're called, by the way, I have found out. Also known as a Tube Dancer. Fun fact.

      • That Mucinex mucus blobby guy. I kinda think he's cute, myself. And I love the gloopy way he walks, leaving mucus-y footsteps everywhere. I find it rather charming.

      • The Burger King king. In Mom's defense, I hate that guy, too. The ginormous perpetually smiling plastic face? Kinda reminds me of Joan Rivers. Dude. Creepy.

      • And speaking of ginormous plastic-headed fast food eatery mascots, she also hates the Jack In The Box clown.

      • Those huge inflatable gorillas that sit in front of car dealerships or on top of buildings. Oft seen in blue, orange or purple. You know... for the realism factor.

      • That annoying dancing old guy that's not really old from the Six Flags commercials. I. Hate. That guy. He doesn't so much creep me out as give me a very strong urge to throw a brick through the TV. I would seriously rather sit through an entire Phish concert than listen to 30 seconds of that obnoxious song they play when the guy starts dancing.

      So... inquiring minds want to know...
      What random things "creep you out"?

      Monday, November 3, 2008

      No, I don't bite. Do you?

      Meet Snuggles! He's an American Pit Bull Terrier and my new bestest friend.

      Tell me... have you ever seen cuter ears in all your life?
      They. Are. Re-DONK!
      I adopted him this weekend from Forever Friends Humane Society.
      Check out their adoptable pets at:


      If you have questions about pitties, feel free to give me a shout. I'd love to answer any concerns you may have. :o) And watch for future posts about what amazing dogs pit bulls make.

      Tuesday, October 28, 2008

      Awesome Vintage Advertisements, Part II

      And now, ads from the archives of Irresponsible Parenting Weekly...

      It's a miracle, folks! You can actually speed up the process of skin cancer right in the privacy of your very own home! Who needs greasy public tanning beds that smell like a sickening combination sweat and bronzing oil? Note the tanning lamp helps to create the perfect low-lit seedy bar ambience little Jenny wanted for her tea party.

      That's right, momma. Fry that baby up good. Apparently these tanning lamps used to be a popular thing? Craziness, I say! Bah. *shaking cane*

      "Papa says it won't hurt us." Oh, really? The mind boggles at the idea that this ad ever even existed in history. The ad says, "Send for our fire-arms encyclopaedia." I wonder if it has an entry on the subject of IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DON'T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY WITH GUNS, YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN!!!!!!!1two!! OMG, srsly.

      Wow, considering this ad and the Hitler carpool ad from my previous vintage ads post, I'm beginning to think hyperbole played a big part in the advertising of yesteryear. This ad also claims "Flies are the most dangerous insect known." Methinks someone didn't consult Wikipedia before sending this to print. Tsk, tsk... The 'pedia clearly states, and I quote, that the most dangerous insects on the planet are, in order of scariness, "roly-polies, garden slugs and Michael Moore."

      And now for something completely disturbing:

      Aw, come on! Is the huge pool of blood really necessary? Dude. And is it just me or does the man running towards the kid actually look mad? "Hey kid! You dented my fender! Your allowance is gonna pay for this, buster! Hey! Hey, are you listening to me?! Oh, sure... play dead so you don't have to take the heat for ruining my new Buick. That's just great." Parents, let this be a lesson. Besides, why is your 9-year-old doing your grocery shopping, you lazy schmuck?

      Monday, October 20, 2008

      Fainting Goats

      Something to lighten your mood. If you've never heard of or seen fainting goats before, prepare to be amazed, delighted and cracked the heck up.

      Now, tell me you didn't just die laughing?

      You're welcome.

      Wednesday, October 15, 2008

      Poverty and Starvation

      I suppose I've been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately. I'm not really sure why. I've been wishing for things that I can't have, thinking about my future and wondering why my life isn't where I'd like it to be. It's a dreadful numbing thing and it took something altogether unlovely and shockingly real to snap me out of this coma. I hope you find these photos to be the sobering dose of reality that I did. Sometimes we just need a little reminder. No matter how painful it is to witness.

      And one last parting shot...