More Questionable Decor

Come on, you know you wanna do this to your house.

Honey, I know you want to mount your latest kill on the wall, but can't we compromise and just put one antler on the coffee table? Fair enough?

Yes, I know what you're thinking: I've always wanted a chair that allowed me to poop without having to get up from my seat and walk into the actual bathroom. Well then you need...

The Poop Chair (patent pending)

"With convenient poop hole in the back."

Poop Chair 2000: for those with more contemporary taste in poop chairs.

I know what you're thinking: I've always wanted a footstool that looked like a clove of garlic with the top chopped off. Today is your lucky day, my friend.

In the wild, baby tables huddle underneath the mommy table for warmth and protection.

What's that? You say you don't need a soap dish? Well, how about a button dish? Surely you need a button dish.

Button Dish (patent denied)

"For all your button dish needs."

Shriveled Egyptian mummies make a whimsical statement in this otherwise stark room. Now, let's talk about what shrunken heads can do for your kitchen...

[CLOVER] Pawprints, shmawprints

When Mom bought these fancy cover thingies for all the pati-o furnichur, I was all, why in the world would furnichur need to wear Snuggies? She mentioned sumthing about protecting the furnichur from the wether, so I guess that's what they're for. Cuz I can't imagine any other possible use for those covers. Nope, can't think of a thing.

It wasn't me.

'Nother Round of Vintage Ads

Two sizes-Regular and Hospital

Seriously, I do not want to know what hospital size is.

And the award for most racist gelatin advertisement goes to...

The copy on this ad reads:

"Mammy sent dis ovah"

JELL-O is known to all sections as "America's Most Famous Dessert." In the South, for instance, it is inexpensive enough to be found in the cabins of the old plantation. It is delicious enough to meet the standards of good living at the "Big House." It is dainty enough for milady's afternoon tea. It is appealing enough to turn the sinful, of any color, away from his neighbor's melon patch.

Yes, please read that again, if you need to. Jell-O: America's Most Famous Racist Dessert.

HolycrapJell-Oareyouserious.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Looks like fun, though.)

Effanbee Dolls, you say?

"Hey, that's a really nice effan' bee doll!"

"Yeah, you like my effan' bee doll? You want to see this effan' bee doll up close?"

"HEY! Get that effan' bee doll outta my face!"

Reminds me of these:

What're you doin'? Oh, nothing. Just sittin' here eatin' some elfin' crackers is all.

Early graffiti.

Yo, that's a mad tag, yo.

How to keep your silk underwear and stockings: don't go to a Tom Jones concert.

Happy Easter!

I Can Has Cheezburger

I Has a Hotdog

LOL Manuscripts!

LOL Manuscripts!

Martha Stewart Facts

I’m sure most of you have already heard all of the Chuck Norris Facts before. Some of my favorites include:

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Sadly, it will never happen because Chuck Norris has never cried. Ever.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a chin; just another fist behind his beard.

Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.

Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.

In addition, there are now other assorted and sundry "facts" to be enjoyed upon the internets, such as Michael Bay Facts:

Instead of working out, Michael Bay blows up houses and runs away from them in slow motion.

Michael Bay once made an explosion so big, it never went out. We now call it "The Sun".

Michael Bay once paid for his meal... in slow motion.

Michael Bay has 2 speeds: Slow Motion and On Fire.

Michael Bay dreams in CGI.

In light of these new developments in the fake fact-generating industry, I decided I should gather a list of facts for a more unlikely target: Martha Stewart.

Here we go...

Martha Stewart Facts

Martha Stewart does not organize her closets. She stares the clutter down until it sorts itself into perfectly categorized and labeled bins and baskets. Then she makes a soufflé to celebrate the victory.

Martha Stewart once roundhouse-kicked a rosebush in the face and it instantly turned into an orange tree.



Martha Stewart was not born. She constructed herself out of papier-mâché. Also, she is filled with candy. For the children.

Martha Stewart once fought off 70 ninjas with only a set of lemon madeleine-nunchucks. Then she served the nunchucks to guests at a dinner party with a lovely brown sugar and pear reduction.



Martha Stewart didn’t go to prison. The prison went to her.

Martha Stewart does not use non-stick spray to coat her bundt pan… she sweats into the pan. Also, her sweat smells like a lavender sachet. Also, she uses her sweat to make lavender sachets.

Martha Stewart once created a working radio using only a paper clip, a stick of Juicy Fruit Gum, and a dust bunny. No wait, that was MacGyver.



Martha Stewart once defused a bomb using only a doily, a single cupcake sprinkle, and a professional bomb squad. True story.

Martha Stewart crocheted a hole in order to escape prison. She held off the guards with a loaded hot glue gun for a short time but the authorities eventually caught her as she had unknowingly left a trail of glitter.




So... what Martha Stewart facts have you uncovered in your search for the truth?

Bent Objects

Today I wanted to spotlight an artist that I just stumbled across recently. This guy Terry makes the most darling and kooky art out of found objects and wire and bits of things. Check his blog out and meantime, here are a few of my favorites from his collection:

Now tell me those weren't more fun than a pail of puppies? Trick question - NOTHING'S better than a pail of puppies.