Monday, September 29, 2008

Awesome Vintage Advertisements

Friends and family have often remarked that I should have been born in a different decade. My favorites are the early 1900's, the 20's, the 30's, the 40's and the 50's. Yes, I have a lot of favorites. I can easily wax nostalgic about what the past might have been like, when life was simpler and blah, blah, blah. And then I see ads like these and it reminds me... I'm actually kinda glad I was born in the 70's, grew up in the 80's, made it through the 90's and am about to round out the 00's... whatever they decided to call it. I like to think "oohs" in my head.

Anyway, enjoy this strange bit ephemera from our weird and wonderful past.



Whaaaaaaaaaa...? No way! A car for her, too?! No, no, no... we can't be letting women drive cars!!! Next thing you know they're gonna want to vote and leave the house wearing shoes and crazy stuff like that. No, no, no... absolutely not. No cars for women. Now go make me a sammich.






Yeah, man! If you don't carpool, you're a Nazi!!!! Besides, how creepy would it be to ride all the way to work with invisible ghost Hitler? It would be slightly more creepy than riding with the real Hitler. But only slightly. He looks like a ghost from Scooby-Doo or something with those white outlines. And does anyone else think Hitler looks kinda sad? Maybe it's cuz he's dead... yeah, probably that.






"Don't stare at me like that." I'm sorry, honey. It's just that... what the crap are you wearing? Seriously, what is with that pec-baring asymmetrical tank top? And is that... an ascot??? And a belt? Really? With your... swimtrunks. Wow. And you make fun of me for wearing my white Birkenstocks to the beach? I mean, really Gerald...







Good news, ladies! This new product will give you the results you've been looking for! For all of you who have been dying to mimic the fashion-forward styles of the recently raided YFZ Fundamentalist Mormon compound in Texas, you are in luck. Note: the four ladies along the bottom are not only clients but they are also the 4 wives of the CEO!





Yeah, parents! Nobody wants a baby Rasputin around. Hey that reminds me... what's red and sits in a corner?







I don't have to make any observations about this one. I'll leave it to you to make up your own jokes. Don't forget the "Special Gift Offer: Buy one for yourself and for a friend."

Wow.


And that's my cue to leave. More to come later...

7 comments:

Nicole Darr said...

I own one.

And I bought one for you.

Anonymous said...

Ahahahahahaha!!!! I invented it!

Anonymous said...

"I mean really, Gerald..."
That is my most favorite line ever!! You rock Heather! I so hope people think you got you humor from both Dad and me. how cool would that be?! lo' she- Ma

Julia D said...

hah! I loooove the fact that your mom reads your blog. I bet she's adorable.

And what's red and sits in a corner? I bet it's a dead baby with a razor in its eyeball and a few fingers missing. Am I right?

<3,
JuliaD
http://www.homemadehilarity.blogspot.com

Heather Cherry said...

J/D: Yes, my Mom is totally adorable and hilarious. And BTW, she LOVES your blog!

P.S. And what's green and sits in a corner? Same baby 2 weeks later!

princessparkle said...

I don't get how "sanitary" and "fits in your hand" get put in the same bullet mark...

Heather Cherry said...

Me neither! EWWWWWWWWWWWW.