Take the snow, for example. Please.
As this crazy weather has gone on, we’ve begun to hear new weather terms on the news, which I suspect are just made up. A couple of them being “Thunder Sleet” and “Ground Blizzard”. Totally not real. So, being the helpful and awesome person that I am, here are some other dastardly weather phenomena you probably haven’t heard of, but might want to watch out for:
Slush Earthquakes
Hail Flurries
Snow Tornados
Icicle Storms
Snowdrift Tidal Waves
Cumulonimb-slush Clouds
Rainflakes
Two feet of snow
The other interesting thing that has developed is the media’s insistence that simply “The Blizzard and Snow and Such that is Currently Happening Here but Also Other Places” apparently doesn’t cut the mayo as a name for the blizzard and snow and such that is currently happening here but also other places, so they’ve taken to nicknaming the thing in order to give it a nicer or more menacing ring. For example, The Great Blizzard of 2011 or The Blizzard of the Century or The Blizzard of the New Millennium. My favorite from one of the local news stations is… wait for it… Winter Gone Wild! No, I'm not kidding. I guess the storm wasn’t satisfied with the destruction it has already caused, so now in an effort to get more attention, it has gotten with its college sorority sisters and allowed pervy men to video it and put the DVD’s on the internet. Have you no shame, Blizzard?
Some of the funnier names I’ve heard non-news people come up with include Snowpocalypse, Snowmageddon, and my favorite, Snowlonoscopy. Inspired, I came up with a few of my own:
Catast-snow-phe
Freezing Reign (of Terror)
Snow Day Melee
Ice Crisis
Winter Massacre
Plague of Precipitation
Dev-ice-station
Bobcat-aclysm
Curse of the Flurries
De-snow shovel-bacle
Icicle-bacle
Frozen Pipes of Doom
The Great Drift Disaster
State of Emergensleet
Salt Truck Havoc
The Scourge of the Dripping Faucets
Fiasc-snow
Bane of the Tire Chains
Snow Woes
Blight of the Unique Snowflakes
Got any to add?
5 comments:
oh how I miss the shenanigans of the Oklahoma weathermen and their crazy words they came up with, this made me LOL at work. How about Snowpocalypse...........I heard that on the OKC radio the other day.
It's dated, but we always liked Letterman's name for the Blizzard of '96 (or, as it was known back in NYC, THE BLIZZARD OF '96!!!!!): Hootie and the Snowfish.
Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts
Hey Ledge! Did you hear K and T got a puppy???
Solipsist: That sounds exactly like something Letterman would say. He probably said that it was snowing snowflakes the size of canned hams, too.
Thanks, Anon.
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