Hed. Asplode. From too much cuteness!

Instructions for chasing all your blues away:

Step 1: bottle feed a puppy.

The end.

Several weeks ago a gal named Carrie found a litter of 5 pibble puppies in a shed on her property. Momma was nowhere to be found and the babies' eyes hadn't even opened yet. Carrie contacted Forever Friends Humane Society and after a lot of scrambling around by a group of folks, the pups were rescued. Two stayed here with my friend Sabrina and three went to Missouri with my friend Lillian. Both of these women have bottle fed puppies before so they were eager to take on the challenge.

So a couple weekends ago Brina let Mom and me come over to visit her 2 babies. Words cannot express the extreme cuteness. We even got to bottle feed them ourselves. Holy crab. Just. The best thing. EVER! Tiny puppies whining and grunting and crawling around like little army men with milk mustaches and goatees.

I mean.

Just.

What.

I can die now.

And the puppy breath... oooooooh, the puppy breath. Did I mention the puppy breath? I was kissing one of the pubbies goodbye and he started biting my nose and I almost had a seizure from the complete and utter adorability of it all.

Here are some pics of the visit. On your mark... get set... be jealous!!!

Pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-TINIEST BURP EVER!

Parting is such sweet sorrow. That I shall say "goodbye" 'til it be morrow...

(taken with my mom's iPhone - that's why these 2 pixes are iBlurry)

Here are a couple of short video clips I took, too.

Can you even believe the itty-bitty growlage? ACK!

Sigh...

Lilly sent me some pics of the other three babies this week, too. Here they are, being ridiculously adorable, making out and playing with the rest of their puppy play group.

Thanks, ladies! Brina and Lil, you two are my heroines (the girl version of "heroes"... not the kind you have to detox from. Although, truth be told, I may have to check myself into puppy rehab after this.)

Press Button, Get Bacon

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a while. Sue me. I've been busy with other super important-y things. And stuff. Aaaaaaaaanyhoo, Mom was berating me (okay, not so much berating me as emailing me and politely asking) about the lack of new topic-age, so here's something to placate her...

A picture of a hand dryer that looks like a bacon dispenser:

AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, it totally looks like bacon!

(Check out thesneeze.com if you never have.)

Um... what else...

LOST this season is so totally rocking my dome. I'm loving it like McDonald's.

Er... um...

OMG, it's Snuggles in his new sweater!

Don't judge. He actually likes wearing it!

That's all I got for now, sports fans. Back soon with more mind-blowing blog topics that will intrigue you, titillate you and possibly cause you to burp or have heartburn (worst case scenario.)

Dumbest Product Ideas Ever

May as well start the new year off with a little levity. Enjoy these little treasures gleaned from the outer reaches of the netherwebs. Just try not to go into convulsions.

• Banana Guard - The website states: "Bananas may go in your bag in perfect condition but most often they emerge looking like they've done fifteen rounds against a middle-weight boxer with a fruit problem. Fortunately for us, this problem was solved by a brilliant Canadian. Keeping nature's funky shape, size and colour, the designers have made a sturdy case. Be the envy of battered banana eaters everywhere when you pull this out from your bag. Features:
  *The Banana Guard is made from durable plastic with a sturdy locking mechanism
  *Small perforations to facilitate ventilation preventing premature ripening
  *Made in Canada"

Yes, only a dirty Canadian could come up with an idea this stupid.

P.S. Um... it's really creepy looking. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

• Flair Hair - visor with fake hair attached.

No. Just... no.

• Chest Hair Toupee - for those men who are still lacking that manly confidence, even after donning the aforementioned super-cool hairy visor.

Awww... it's heart-shaped!

• Secure Outdoor Cat Run - This is basically the hamster ball given a makeover. Its purpose? To torture your cat. You pretty much toss your cat into the Mesh Tunnel of Death and watch him frolick the day away, right? Probably not, but I bet you'll get some laughs out of watching Mr. Flufferkins trying to escape in a fit of kitty rage.

I love how the owner in this particular photo has placed a ball outside the thing, pretty much guaranteed to piss the cat off.

• Nose Aerobics - "The only sport you play on your face!" Rejected slogan: "Guaranteed to get you picked last in dodgeball!"

Get this. They're sold out. SOLD OUT, PEOPLE. What is this world coming to?

• Rejuvenique - Electrocution Mask of Terror. Basically you strap this thing on and it electrocutes your face... you know... to improve your complexion and stuff. It actually comes with what they call "toning gel" that must be put on all contact points. Um... hello? Sounds like the conducting gel they use on those shock paddle thingies at the hospital. Can you say "red flag"???

You, too, can look like Hannibal Lector, The Phantom of the Opera, or Jason from Friday the 13th. Take your pick! The possibilities are endless!

All I Want for Christmas is BEEG FAT KEESES!!

Right... on... my mouf. Gib... dem... to me!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Love,

Snuggles

Best sister ever (best brother, too!)

Today is my brother and his wife's 4th anniversary.

Christy blogged a love letter about Jake and I wanted to share it because it goes to show how loving she is, how devoted he is and why I'm so incredibly lucky to have a family like this. Read the post and pay attention: this is how a strong, Christ-centered marriage looks. By the way, when she says they miss each other when one of them leaves the room... she's not exaggerating. They're really that crazy about each other. Given how incredible these two people are together... well... I just can't wait to meet the tiny version of the two of them put together.

I love you guys so much! Happy Anniversary.

http://jakeandchristy.blogspot.com/2008/12/why-i-married-jacob-4-years-ago-today_18.html

Did I mention I'm going to be an aunt?

Yea for Pittie Heroes!

And yea for "paws"-itive press!

Check out this story about a local pittie who took 3 bullets for his owner.

http://www.news9.com/global/story.asp?s=9494086

Family Dog Takes Bullet to Save Family
Posted: Dec 9, 2008 07:00 PM CST
Updated: Dec 10, 2008 11:46 AM CST

The family has no idea why the man broke in or how their dog, D-boy, survived.


By Amy Lester, NEWS 9
OKLAHOMA CITY -- A family dog made a lifesaving move when the family needed him most.
The dog's more than a friend, even more than a companion and family members said he's the reason they're alive.
The family's hero is their dog, D-boy.
Roberta Trawick was sitting on the couch when a man busted in, through the front door.
"He came in, pointed a gun at me and said, ‘Get down on the ground'," Trawick said.
The next thing Roberta knew, her dog ran in from another room, ready to attack.
"I was too scared to move, I didn't know what to think," Trawick said.
But before the dog could get a hold of the intruder, the man started shooting.
"I seen him shoot the dog twice," Trawick said. "He shot him once in the head and he was still going after him and the guy shot him again."
D-boy was shot three times, altogether. The intruder, apparently spooked, took off out the front door.
"It is amazing, it's amazing that he want after that guy, and that I still have a family," family member Angelic Shoemaker said.
The family has no idea why the man broke in or how the dog survived.
"The vet said if it wasn't for his hard head he wouldn't be here," Trawick said. "He's got a hard head."
That hard headed dog was determined to protect his family, and a family that owes a debt of gratitude to their four legged friend.
"I'm sorry my dog got shot, but I still got my family and we still got our dog," Shoemaker said.
The family now faces another obstacle. They don't have enough money to pay the dog's medical bills. So far, they owe around $1,500.
Police are still looking for the man who shot the family dog. If you have any information, call Crimestoppers at 405-235-7300.

To donate to D-boy, you can send a check to:

Veterinary Emergency and Critical Care Hospital

1800 W. Memorial RoadOklahoma City, OK 73134

* Checks can be made out to VECCA and please add D-boy to the memo line.

The phone number at the hospital is 405.749.6989.

I spoke with the vet tech and she says D-Boy has basically made a miraculous recovery.

Awesome Vintage Advertisements, They're Baaa-aaack

Note to self: Never, EVER use the word "stump" in the marketing of a product. In fact, just don't ever say the word "stump" for any reason... or "nub". And under no circumstances should the words "bloody" and "stump" or "nub" be used together. Although, "stump-nub" or "nub-stump" are perfectly fine and, I daresay, a bit charming.

There's a "Stammerers' Guild"? NO! No way. This is just too easy! Okay, I'll bite...

Hmmm... I wonder how long it takes to call their meetings to order or worse, pass a motion?...

"Who w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-will s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-second th-th-th-th-th-th-th-the

m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-motion?"

"I'll s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-second th-th-th-th-th-th-th-th-that m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-motion, M-M-M-M-M-M-M-M-Mr. P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Presid-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dent."

"All in f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-avor s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s... aw, forget it!"

New scientific research brought to you by the highly respected medical journal, Duh magazine. All you gotta do is ditch that lame blazer and don a sporty sweater with conspicuous P on the chest and you'll blend in with all the cool kids! And don't forget your Trapper Keeper, chief. I've gotta say that I'm truly impressed with the detailed data provided here to back up the study. I guess you just have to take their word for it. Although, the person who wrote the ad apparently was too old to learn how to capitalize the beginning of all sentences.

Look at Mr. P Sweater. He seems to be grabbing Sally Sue's hindquarters there. And check out the couple in the background. They both look like they're getting handsy. Hey, you're never too old to have "needs."

*shudder*

Check out the chick whacking away at her stanky feet with a machete. Are you kidding me? That can't be sanitary.

*nervous twitch*

P.S. Corns have "roots"? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

*seizure*

I think that if you start talking things over with your headache, chances are that headaches aren't your biggest problem.

Look directly into my eyes. I... will KEEL you. Keel you until you are dead.

I'm Gonna Be An Aunt!

All the aunties in the house say, "Hey-ey!!!"

So a lot of you probably already know this but I just haven't gotten the chance to blog aboot it so here it be! Christy is great with child. Okay, not really. She's about 8 1/2 weeks along, so... just a little with child. But who the heck cares! I'm gonna be an aunt! Ooooor an uncle... seeing as how they're not going to find out the gender of the beh-beh until he/she/it/they is/are born.

Anyhoo, Dad took to calling the baby "Tater" instead of having to use "the baby" constantly and the name stuck.

If you want to see a REAL picture of Tater and also get updates on Preggers, go to Sissy's blog:

http://jakeandchristy.blogspot.com/2008/11/baby-and-i-have-made-it-to-8-weeks-and.html

WE ARE SO HECKA EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!123!!!

Top Ten Things That Creep My Mom Out

If you are around my mom for any length of time, you will inevitably hear her say the following phrase, "That/He/Those creep(s) me out!" It's always an adventure to find out what creeps my mom out. Sometimes I play a game and try to discover new things that creep her out. I'll see something I suspect to be a creep-inducer for Mom and I'll call her and say, "Hey Mom, how do you feel about [fill in the blank]?" and 99% of the time the immediate response is, "Oh, they creep me out!" and I dissolve into a fit of giggles because I know her so well.

So, what follows is by no means a comprehensive list but it does cover the main points. Ladies and gents... the Top Ten Things That Creep My Mom Out:

• Garden gnomes. This includes the "Roaming Gnome" from those TV commercials.
  

• Also, apparently, it includes small elfin statues that only slightly resemble gnomes... if you squint hard enough.
  

• The helpful paperclip guy from Microsoft Word. Mom especially hates it "when he raises his eyebrow at me! Ew!" Please note, my dad is also creeped out by said paperclip dude.





• The "zoom-zoom" kid from the Mazda commercials. Huh?

• Those wind-filled tube-shaped dudes that direct you toward a particular business. Are these things actually supposed to work as far as a marketing technique? I mean, I know for me, when I see a crazy gyrating air-filled tube I immediately purchase whatever product or service is being advertised. Even if it's an automatic kitten-killing machine. What? I can't help it. I'm helpless against the Sky Dancer's charm! That's what they're called, by the way, I have found out. Also known as a Tube Dancer. Fun fact.

• That Mucinex mucus blobby guy. I kinda think he's cute, myself. And I love the gloopy way he walks, leaving mucus-y footsteps everywhere. I find it rather charming.

• The Burger King king. In Mom's defense, I hate that guy, too. The ginormous perpetually smiling plastic face? Kinda reminds me of Joan Rivers. Dude. Creepy.

• And speaking of ginormous plastic-headed fast food eatery mascots, she also hates the Jack In The Box clown.

• Those huge inflatable gorillas that sit in front of car dealerships or on top of buildings. Oft seen in blue, orange or purple. You know... for the realism factor.

• That annoying dancing old guy that's not really old from the Six Flags commercials. I. Hate. That guy. He doesn't so much creep me out as give me a very strong urge to throw a brick through the TV. I would seriously rather sit through an entire Phish concert than listen to 30 seconds of that obnoxious song they play when the guy starts dancing.

So... inquiring minds want to know...

What random things "creep you out"?

No, I don't bite. Do you?

Meet Snuggles! He's an American Pit Bull Terrier and my new bestest friend.

Tell me... have you ever seen cuter ears in all your life?

They. Are. Re-DONK!

I adopted him this weekend from Forever Friends Humane Society.

Check out their adoptable pets at:

http://www.ourfurryfriends.petfinder.com/

If you have questions about pitties, feel free to give me a shout. I'd love to answer any concerns you may have. :o) And watch for future posts about what amazing dogs pit bulls make.