Wednesday, April 22, 2009

An Open Letter to Everyone I Know

An Open Letter to Everyone I Know

Dear Jerks:

As you can see from the email reprinted below, I’m gonna be rich, bee-yotches! I’ve already quit my job and I’m moving to Fiji! Catch all you suckas on the flip-flop!

In closing I would like to say... I am WAY too good for you. I really do mean that, from the bottom of my heart.

Love always,




Sent: Wed 5:20 AM

Dear Friend,

I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other best known to you. But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the Cheque out of the company to someone else who was capable of assisting me in this great venture.

Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trustworthiness you showed at the course of the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $843,000,00 ( EIGHT HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS).

I have authorized the finance house where I deposited my money to issue you international certified bank draft cash able at your bank. I do know you might be seeing the compensation as to small compared to the total sum pursued for but you just have to bear with it for the German doctor whom assisted in the fund transfer made a lot of expenses.

Meanwhile be inform that cost of shipment and the insurance coverage of certified cashier check are at your expenses which we have bargain with the courier company to make less expensive for you to be able to get your parcel without any form of delay.

You are to contact the financial controller of FIRST FINANCIAL BANK PLC via email or via phone which is below.


TELEPHONE NUMBER: +234-70-23192278

At the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which myself and my new partner are having at hand.
Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart.

Contact Mr ADETUNJI PETERS now .
Thanks and God bless you and your family.

Best Regards


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Shawn said...

So your true colors have come out!

Well! Let me just tell you something about your newfound fortune. Oh, haha, I think you're going to want to sit down for this.

It's probably...

...going to be in foreign currency. That's going to be at least a mild hassle to get exchanged.

Jeff Tompkins said...

I did some similar shameless bragging a few months ago when I received an offer to get rich. It didn't work out. I should have known something was wrong b/c the email seemed to have been written by Borat. Oh well.

Winky Twinky said...

Hope you don't get stuck in Fiji, chica... ;)

Heather Cherry said...

Shawn: Way to burst my bubble, buttmunch.

JT: You see, that's where you went wrong. You trusted someone from an obscure European country. That's really dangerous. Nigerians, however... comPLETEly trustworthy.

W/T: Hm... why would you say that?

obladi oblada said...

HC: I dont know what to say but....Congrats!!! I'll be thinking of you when I look at your "missing" poster....

Hairball said...

If only I could be so lucky!
*sighs deeply*

Margo said...

You are young, have a great dress in your profile pic AND lucky?
I want to know the story of the people who fall for this. Do you think they send a rubber check after you pay for shipping?

Heather Cherry said...

O/O: Wow, that is so thoughtful! Thanks!

Hairball: I know. *nods knowingly*

Margo: OMG just wait and see the vintage pieces I DID buy this week! Will be posting them Saturday for everyone's vicarious viewing pleasure. :o)

brookeamanda said...

I've been getting weird emails like this from China, saying that I have a relative that died and I'm the only heir and I'll inheret a fortune. Um, last time I checked I'm no Chinese!

Heather Cherry said...

I got one like that yesterday. Who falls for this crap???