Thursday, April 9, 2009

An Open Letter to the Moth That Got Into My Closet

An Open Letter to the Moth That Got Into My Closet and Chewed Itty-Bitty Holes into My Favorite Pair of Pants


Dear Moth:

Not cool, dude. Not. Cool.

Yours truly,

Owner of Pants


P.S. What other things do you hate? Cuz I’m certainly not using those stinky moth balls to get rid of you so you can forget that. I refuse to let my clothes smell like those of an octogenarian. Shall I toss a Nickelback CD in there at you? Just kidding. I would never buy a Nickelback CD.

19 comments:

CHEF TROLL said...

I found a shirt from 1982 recently. And it fits!

Discussion of Christianity at TTR today and through Saturday.

Heather Cherry said...

I have a dress from the 1930's and I had it tailored to fit. Beat that! Actually, it's the dress I'm wearing in my profile pic.

Cool! I'll stop by...

Shawn said...

Well, I have a robe that was worn by Moses. I put it on when I do gardening stuff.

Heather Cherry said...

Well I garden in a Dharma jumpsuit!

Boo-yah.

moi said...

Two years ago I scored a pair of vintage Famolare wedge sandals on The eBay. I wear them all the time because they go with everything. If moths ever attacked them, it would be the end of Moths As We Know Them. RIP Cherry's pants . . .

moi said...

P.S. Nickelback sucks.

Heather Cherry said...

I love The eBay. But you better be careful. Making threats like that about moths could spark a comment war with an underground moth militia, which could, in turn, lead to new blogs about moths and such. You've seen it happen with teh squirls.

I got a crazy deal on a Dana Buchman houndstooth pencil skirt a few years ago and the moth attacked that, too. Hell won't be hot enough for The Moth.

Indeed, Nickelback doth suck. They suck with the power of a Dyson.

Hairball said...

Sorry about your pants. Stupid moths!

Cedar is supposed to repel moths. Maybe get something like this cedar closet block or try placing a box ( up away from kids and pets) in your closet with cedar shavings or mulch? If you get the closet block, the cedar smell will dissipate over time. Take some fine sandpaper and rub it all over the board until you can smell it again.

I only wear clothing made from plastic bags and the cardboard from toilet paper rolls. I save the paper towel cardboard rolls for my footwear.

Heather Cherry said...

Thanks for the tip, Hairball!

LOL, I can picture you sewing two coffee filters together for use as a brassiere, too.

obladi oblada said...

Lol. You could definitely chase me away with Nickelback! Eeek. I mean, if you were fresh out of spiders and clowns, Nickelback would be just as effective.

Im off to look up Octogenarian...

Heather Cherry said...

Yeah, the first time I read your profile and saw the part about liking everything but "Nickelback or some other crap" I was like OMG, BFF's!!! I totally made you a friendship pin that night to wear on your shoe.

LOL, an octogenarian is someone in their 80's. :o)

Mom said...

Got the perfect remedy! Just play a little bit of Cher (I Got You, Pants), Bee-yon-say (All the Single Moths, All the Single Moths....), Babs (Evergreen around the gills 'cause she makes me sick)or Stevie Ni-ackkk...glorp!-awwh sorry..got more than a little nauseous just thinking about that one...as I was saying, play anything by one of them and the moths will fly screaming away from your house. Hmmm. Maybe the squirrels in your attic will keel over and die too! Hey I know-Play them ALL AT ONCE!!!!

Heather Cherry said...

"All the single moths" - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Margo said...

What are moth balls, anyway? The seem like something that would be outlawed by now for some reason like someone choking or high toxicity. I heard once that lavender works, but I bet it doesn't and besides you might even smell like an centenarian if you used both the mothballs and the lavender.

Heather Cherry said...

You've got a good point there, Margo. I'm gonna hafta look that up!

Hairball said...

Heather-
I heard about the wildfires. Hope you and yours are okay!

Heather Cherry said...

Thanks, Hairball! Yes, so far so good. It's pretty horrendous stuff, though. Really sad.

brookeamanda said...

I LOVE the fact that you hate Nickelback. When are they just going to fade into obscurity?!!

Heather Cherry said...

Thanks, B/A! Hating Nickelback is sort of like a hobby for me. I want to know who it is that is actually paying money for their music?