Thursday, April 16, 2009

An Open Letter to Inspector No. 84

An Open Letter to Inspector No. 84


Dear Inspector No. 84:

I found your little inspection sticker on my underpants. I just wanted to say, thank you for inspecting my underpants. That was really nice of you. Also, I was just curious… do you have a badge or a license or something? Because I bet you could get a lot of girls that way. Telling them you’re an Official Underpants Inspector. Girls love classy stuff like that.

Thanks again,

Heather

16 comments:

princessparkle said...

Haha! I wonder what a job like that pays. Even more funny, there's at least 83 more of 'em out there. I wonder why they put the inspector number down, is anyone going to call and complain?

Heather Cherry said...

I know, right? They could always put one of those 800 numbers on there, like the ones on semi trucks: "How is my inspecting? Call to comment." But I guess it would be hard to fit all that on one of those tiny stickers.

K9 said...

i wonder if i could get a job doing that? what is inspected? is the crotch properly fortified with another layer of cotton? waistband super flexy to compensate for ice cream binges? super dopey colors youre so ashamed of you cant disrobe in daylight? im so there.

Heather Cherry said...

Hey, I'd give you the job as you've already hit all the fine points of the inspection process.

Inspector No. 84 said...

Dear Heather,

Just wanted to let you know that, unlike Inspectors 1 through 83, I also do in home re-inspections free of charge. Please advise on a time that's convenient for you.

Heather Cherry said...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!





No thanks.

princessparkle said...

I wish they put 800 numbers on underwear; they'd make optimal prank call recivers. "Hello, inspector 84, thank you for inspecting my underwear with such good care"

Heather Cherry said...

Or you could call up and pull my favorite joke: "Hey Inspector No. 84, what are you eating under there?" And when he says, "Under where?" you say, "You're eating your underwear? That's disgusting!" It never loses its funny.

obladi oblada said...

LOL...then you might be breaking some underwear inspector anti-harrasment law. You have to be careful about those things you know.

Zen Wizard said...

How does Inspector #84 feel about the Hanes "Wedgie Free" Panties controversy, I wonder?

It would be interesting to get an insider viewpoint on this contentious issue.

shopgirl101 said...

I think there's a T-Shirt that says "Underpants Inspector!"

Lidian said...

It must be totally great at parties, when people ask what you do, to be able to say that you are an Underwear Inspector!

Heather Cherry said...

O/O: My lawyers advise me to tell you "No comment."

Wiz: Where's the controversy? Wear a thong, people!

Shopgirl: Probably sold at your local Spencer's Gifts store, no doubt.

Liddy: Not as great as the mushroom. He's a real fungi at parties.

moi said...

All I can say is: Wash before you wear, Party People.

Kirsten said...

How does someone get into that line of work? Do you have to go to a trade school to learn all the intricacies of women's underwear?
I have so many questions, inspector 84.
btw, thanks for participating in my contest. You got honorable mention!

Heather Cherry said...

Who, meeeeeeeeeee?