Friday, May 8, 2009

Vintage Advertisements: Inappropriate Juice Drinks Edition

Here are some not-to-be-believed juice drink mixes from Pillbury's old line of Funny-Face Drinks.








I mean, wow. There's just not much to say here. Why does the Chinese Cherry have a bow on her single "hair"-stem? Are they supposed to be leaves? And what's up with the snaggleteeth? My favorite things on Injun Orange are his war paint and the little navel butt-chin.


Wisely, Pillbury eventually came out with new flavor names to replace these two and came up with Jolly Olly Orange and Choo-Choo Cherry.



Come on! That's terrible! Making fun of jolly people and trains?! Awful! And what about Loud-Mouth Lemon and Rootin'-Tootin' Rasberry? Some people just cannot control THE VOLUME OF THEIR VOICE! and others have embarrassing gas problems. They can't help it! Or Lefty Lemon? He was BORN that way! UGH! And I know my mom won't appreciate Freckle Face Strawberry, considering that she is entirely befrecked and also a natural strawberry blonde. I'm so disappointed in you, Pillsbury! What's next, huh? Um... like... "People Who Can Curl Their Tongues Tamarind"? "Pocked-Marked Pumelo?"




Thanks to Juicy Jules for the find!

14 comments:

Lidian said...

To be in keeping with the inappropriate theme, Lefty really should have been a red drink, like - oh, I don't know - Lefty Lingonberry?

And they should have called it Un-Kool Aid, because - yeah, not cool at all!

brookeamanda said...

I love un-PC ads from the past. I'm sure in 50 years, people will be making fun of the ads we have now!

Shawn said...

Chinese Cherry really makes me want to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's for some reason.

Dave said...

You know, I kinda like the lo-tech illustrations on the envelopes of the older products. Beats the overdone packaging we have now. I know that this sorta misses the point, but I'm like that.

Margo said...

Injun orange looks like he has teeth on his face. It's weird that for most of more recent history, we've had the non-descript and kind of creepy koolaid pitcher face. (Sparkle got her hair cut for locks of love today - I'm sure she'll post about it soon :)

pamokc said...

(am admitting that I remember those originals but hadn't thought about them in about 100 years or so)....

Heather Cherry said...

Lidian: Wow, a Lingonberry is a fruit I've never heard of! Well done, Liddy!

Brooke: Surreal, huh?

Shawn: Hm. Interesting.

Dave: I'd have to agree with you there.

Margo: Teeth - lol, you're right. I'm looking forward to pixes of Sparkle's un-hair.

Pam: They're pretty cute and kitschy.

DouglasDyer said...

As someone who suffers from uncontrollable tootin', I am not amused.

obladi oblada said...

Hmmm...I didnt exactly think of a CHIN when I looked at injun orange's circular navel thingy....

Heather Cherry said...

Doug: Heh heh...

O/O: LOL!

Wendy said...

Yeah, I say BOO to trying to oppress the freckled redheads (and strawberry blondes). I mean, as long as we're stereotyping... why make fun of the redheads with their tempers, right? I mean, why not make fun of the blondes since they wouldn't know the difference anyway? :)

Heather Cherry said...

I feel like you may have just insulted me but I'm not really sure...

*scratching head*

Nan-Nan said...

Angels kiss me in my sleep, and they leave a mark every time. What can I say? and you daddy LOVES my freckles and strawberry hari, so I'm all good......

Anonymous said...

i loved em. lets get back to fun.i still have the mugs and grape pitcher.