Thursday, June 11, 2009

Vintage Advertisements: Creepy Dudes, Clowns and Elves Edition


No, I do not want to play tennis with you and your parrot and your bottle of liquor. Maybe next time. Maybe never. I'll hafta think 'pon it. There. I thought 'pon it. No. No tennis with clowns. Or parrots. Or bottles of brandy. Okay, maybe parrots.




HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, it's hiLARious to blow people up, especially when they're not expecting it!





Oh. Dear. Sweet... In the name of all that is holy... I mean...

An entire ARMY OF CLOWNS?!?!?! I can think of, well, not much that is creepier than this. They will RAIN DOWN THE JOLLY ON YOU LIKE THE HELLFIRES OF SHEOL.








Okay this little baby dude is really freakin’ cute but honestly, if that lil' chubster popped out of my soup thermos it would freak me right the crap out. Too much like a jack-in-the-box. I never liked those. So… despite the endearing little poem, no, Campbell’s, I am not interested in what you’re selling, buck-o.







And speaking of things popping out of things… NO! I do not need that old Quaker dude suddenly appearing from inside my flowers, tryin’ to sell me his oatmeal! No, no, no, no…








Om-nom-nom-nom… how cute!

Wait…

Is that a…

Clown?!?!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHakdivfha$pligEaw&riXh!!!!!!








Sterling Stoves: “A Barrel of Fun!”

Looks more to me like a barrel of creepy baby clowns.






Why does Wrigley’s hire elves to put up their billboards? And do you suppose the elves have some sort of union?

10 comments:

Shawn said...

15 stars out of a possible 9!

I have to point out that at least two members of the "army" are clearly not clowns. Which is scarier? Clowns, or wannabe clowns?

Eric said...

Well, this is all very unsettling...

What's up with the barrel clowns advertising stoves? I hope someone isn't about to be rolled into an oven somewhere after receiving a chastising wag of the finger.

Nice post as always.

David said...

Those little elf things like in the Wrigley's were quite popular (in I think the 30's or 40's) as Christmas decorations. My mother has a number of them and they are cute.

obladi oblada said...

ewww, ick. Heather, was that NECESSARY? Why didnt you just put in a Barbara Streisand photo while you were at it? Or William Shatner. Nightmare fuel.....THANKS a ton.

I almost peed my pants, not really from terror, but your comments were hilarious. What an emotional rollercoaster this post was.

Hairball said...

Those ads are just plain disturbing!

Dave said...

Am I in the minority? I love a good clown...white face, red nose, big eyes...green hair...sharp teeth [shudder]. Mommy.

Lidian said...

None of these creatures is inspiring me to go buy their stuff, or go o their circus. Or whatever it is they want.

Heather Cherry said...

Shawn: You and your stars. :o) I din't even notice those 2 guys! OMG!

Eric: LOL, thanks!

David: Yes, they look exactly like those!

O/O: Sorry! I'll owe you one, eh?

Hairball: Indeed!

Dave: Tim Curry - best clown EVAH!

Lidian: Yeah, me neither! Ick!

shopgirl101 said...

I have a friend who is deathly afraid of clowns...she would have pooped her pants looking at these!

Heather Cherry said...

I think I may have!