Thursday, April 30, 2009

Dreaming with Lunesta

I have ADHD. Which sucks sometimes. Especially when it comes to trying to fall asleep when your mind won't shut its freakin' hole. But add to that the fact that I actually have a related sleep disorder, too. It's called Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome. Basically, my body's internal clock is off by several hours. What that means is that my mind and body want to sleep around midnight or later and then wake up around 10 or 11 a.m. I also sleep "backwards." Most people fall asleep quickly at night, sleep deeply, and then spend the early morning hours slowly waking up. I'm the opposite. So for example, if I try to go to bed around 10 p.m. I will toss and turn for hours and slowly fall asleep after a long time (if at all!). Then I do my deepest sleeping and dreaming in the morning, just before having to get up for work. You know that feeling of abruptly being woken from a very deep dream sleep? You know how sort of shocking that feels to your system and how groggy you feel and very irritable? That's how I feel every morning if my body doesn't get to sleep until its preferred time.

HOWEVER, for the last oh, 6 months or so, I've been taking Lunesta. Oh Lunesta, how I do love thee. It has been a miracle for me. I take it and in 30 minutes I'm out like Seacrest. I sleep really well and wake up like a semi-normal person the next morning. The interesting thing, though, is that I have the most bizarre, detailed dreams that feel supremely real.

So, submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society (does anyone else remember that?), I give you my latest Lunesta dreams...

I frequently dream that I am back in high school and that I've forgotten my locker combination (and also its location) and that I've not been going to class and I suddenly am in class having to take a big test, not knowing the material whatsoever. I had that dream but this time my classes were quite interesting. I went to Math class wherein, for some reason, we were reading and being tested on children's books. I can't remember any of the book titles. Then there was English class, being taught by a German woman but we were studying Spanish. She liked to make class fun by passing out multiple bottles of pink nail polish for the girls to paint their nails in class. Don't worry about the boys. There were none in this class, apparently. The instructor also made madeleines on some sort of panini maker thing during class for us to eat.

Suddenly there was a tornado. No warning. Just that the building was picked up and then hurled back to the earth. Immediately my classroom became one of those college stadium-type lecture halls where the chairs are affixed and in descending rows like a theatre. Folks were rushing around helping the wounded. I helped pull some people out of where they were stuck between the seats. Also, curiously, I helped some pit bulls in danger of falling (?) out of the seats. Then I went and found my brother, who was on the other side of the school. We had a happy and relieved reunion and then I began to rap.

Then I was magically on the beach in L.A. It was crazy crowded and instead of sunning themselves on the sand, folks were all perched atop multiple tiny stilted buildings, sort of like lifeguard towers. My mom was there and we started talking to a guy with a Scottish accent. He was wearing an Irish football club shirt, though. Mom was all, "Are you from Ireland?" and I was all, "MOM! Can't you hear his accent? He's Scottish!" and then he and I had a good laugh at my mom's expense with high fives all around for good measure.

The End.

Por fin, I would like to say that Lunesta has been a God-send. Now, if I can just get rid of that damn green glowing butterfly that hovers around my night table...

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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

R.I.P. Hair (In Memoriam)

If you're a dude and you read this blog you can tune out right about now. Else you might get pretty bored with this post of a decidedly girlie nature.

I decided recently to chop my hair off. Like, super short. I've had it like that before and it was so easy to take care of. Not at all like a baby or a dog. Or a baby dog. Or a George Foreman Grill.

So I straightened my hair for the first time since probably high school the other night so I could see how long it was. I measured it so I could see if I fit the qualifications to donate to Locks of Love. It's amazing how much curl can shorten one's hair. Turns out, my longest layer is over 12 inches long! Holy carp.

I never straighten my hair. 1) Because I like my hair naturally curly, 2) Because it takes forever to do, and 3) Because it freaking takes FOREVER TO DO. After almost an hour and a half of slaving over a hair dryer and large barreled curling iron I was reminded of just why I DON'T STRAIGHTEN MY HAIR. I briefly considered crimping it. But then I remembered that I don't own a crimping iron. Oh, well.

So here are the before pics of my curly hair. Then long and straight. Then shorter-than-crap.

This is my attempt at taking a picture of the back of my own hair.
Not the best angle, eh?

Wow, my face looks so emo or something. I suck at taking pictures of myself.

An Open Letter to Nickelback

An Open Letter to Nickelback

Dear Nickelback:

Please do us all a favor and stopping making what doesn't even bear a passing resemblance to music. No, seriously.

With greatest appreciation,

Everyone in the World

NOTE: Funny story... I had this post in my drafts and just hadn't posted it yet when I came across another blogger's Open Letter to Nickelback! Check out Shawn's awesome version at The Shark Tank.

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Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Hi, everyone! Snuggles Q. Pibble here. Just thought I'd post some of my favorite loldogs from I Has a Hotdog. Of course, they all happen to be PIBBLES! Duh. Hey, check out my very own profile sometime. I worked really hard on it and it took a long time to type on accounta my big ol' paws and such.


Hay! I almost forgot! One of my most favoritest hoomins finally started blogging. She's my Nan-Nan (grandma) and I love her with all of my pibble heart. Go check out her new blog!

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An Open Letter to Dust

An Open Letter to Dust

Dear Dust:

Where the heck do you come from? Seriously. What's your deal?

Thanks in advance for any information you might be able to provide,


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Sunday, April 26, 2009

Mute Monday Topic: Clean

[Requires explanation not-so-mute: my first semi-foray into feeding my dog the Raw Diet. On today's menu... leftover steak scraps, pumpkin, baby peas and California Natural kibble. The result, a clean bowl and a doggie licking his chops for any remaining punkin. He LOVED the punkin.]

I Heart Duckabees

I'm feeling super ducky today cuz I got to save a couple of little Ducky McDuckersons from the Oklahoma wind today. It's like fence blowing-down windy and we went to eat lunch at a place on the lake today, where it's even windier-er next to the water. As I was leaving and headed towards my car my brother and sister-in-law yelled to me to come over to this little spot where some flowers and little shrubs were planted outside the restaurant. They were all, "HELP THEM!" There were 2 lil' McDuckersons that were freshly hatched outta their eggies and were literally about to be blown away. It was the most pitiful/cutest thing I ever did saw. I ran over in my platform heels, all the while my dress at risk of pulling a Marilyn Monroe, threw all my stuff (purse, keys, scarf) at my family members and scooped the little critters up. I hobbled through the little garden and found the other eggs and put them back behind some shrubs where they would be more protected from the wind shears. Here are some pixes of the Duckersons. They're a bit hard to see cuz they're all camo-y and stuff.

(If you're having trouble seeing him, his beak is on the left.)

As Moi would say... *le sigh*

Saturday, April 25, 2009


And on the day I did an idiotic dinosaur post.


I am humbled.

Also, I'm awesome.

Humbly awesome.

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What If They Were Dinosaurs?

FAIR WARNING: This post is probably gonna be really dumb. No, DEFINITELY dumb. You've been warned.

At times, I like to get all introspective and stuff. I start thinking about the important things in life and the great questions of our time. The other day was one such day. It was a lazy afternoon. Locusts were buzzing their spring songs. There was a light breeze, which carried upon it the scent of early honeysuckle blooms. The promise of summer whispered sweet nothings and I started to daydream. Naturally, as you can imagine, I began to think about what certain people would look like had they been dinosaurs.

For example...

Charlotte Bronte


Peggy Bundy


Carrot Top


Lex Luthor

Tyrannicalsaurus Lex

Tom Petty


Captain Kirk



Is it just me or does Carrot Top resemble Fergie-Ferg a little too much?

Finkle and Einhorn - Einhorn and Finkle - Finkle and Einhorn - Einhorn and Finkle...

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Friday, April 24, 2009

What I DID Buy This Week: Vintage Clothing Spectacular

started the "What I'm NOT Buying this Weekend" meme with the caveat that if you do express your God-given right to shop with actual money, to still post your purchases (with gusto!) so that others can live vicariously through you. Well, it was really, really hard but I took one for the team this week. I did it for you, people.

You're welcome.

Firstly, my family is going to the beach next month so I went bathing suit shopping and just lookit the cutie-pie bikini I found! It's distinctly Gidget-y on and quite fetching in person.

Yea! Glad that's over and done with.

Top: $48.00
Bottoms: $52.00
Not on sale... boo...

Then, I got a major itch to go thrift store shopping this week so I got some cream for that and then I went to my favorite place for retro threads, Bohemian Spirit Vintage. It's where I bought the amazing 1930's dress I'm wearing in my profile photo. I was looking for a black cocktail dress for a wedding I'm going to be in and not only did I find a great one but several other diamonds in the rough, too! I will post pictures of the black dress when it's finished being altered. Until then, here are the other gems I found!

Red Rose Dress

This dress is A. Mazing.
I'm going to shorten the sleeves, though, and give them a cuff.

And would you just look at the ridiculously gorgeous fan detailing on the placket!

40% off

Blue Jersey Shirtwaist Dress

Think i might cuff the sleeves on this one, too.

40% off

Silk Periwinkle Dress

It doesn't look like much yet because it's way too big and I'm going to have it tailored all 'round. Indeed, it's the only dress I was able to fit on my large dress form mannequin.

75% off

Graphic Stripe Dress

Yeah, yeah, I know how hideous this dress is right now...

But look how chic and modern it will look once I rip the sleeves off!
I know... I'm a genius.

50% off


Look how fantastic the embroidery is.

25% off

Sigh... it was a good week.